Posts Tagged ‘smex’
Last Updated on Tuesday, 24 November 2009 12:43 Written by Atilla Tuesday, 24 November 2009 12:36
Yeah, so – the scariest movie of all times. It’ll make you crap you pants and then sit there in your own smell and cry for your mommy until demons come out of the screen to eat your pathetic little soul. If you’re Oren Peli, this is exactly what would happen.
Actually, not really – if you’re Oren Peli, you’ll be laughing your ass off at the movie giants, while having a swim in a vault full of money, Duck Tales’ Uncle Scrooge style. Profits built on the suffering of your poor unsuspecting viewers who sob after 85 minutes of their lives, that they’re never getting back.
The moral of the story is that if you’re a stubborn and childish man, you shouldn’t marry a whiny girl with an irrational fear of HD cameras and google searches. Also, don’t buy a rodent-infested house, for the love of the god. If you’re afraid of watching a couple have a bunch of silly fights over pointless happenings – you’ll shiver for the entire movie. Because that’s most of it. NOT recommended for people who fear sleeping on the couch.
What happens in this movie is well … nothing special, really. 5 to 10 minutes of this movie have the potential of making a proper scary story. Now, if you expanded them properly over the entire duration … yeah, you could get cinemas full of screaming and sobbing people, like the trailer would like you to think. There’s good ideas in it, no doubt about that, but they pretty much end the plot, so there’s that. The pacing of the movie is very unstable and things that are mundane and boring are stretched far too long to justify the total lack of nudity. Did I say irrational fear of cameras before? Yeah, I guess I did.
To quote our favourite Eddie Murphy – “Why don’t white people leave when there’s a ghost in the house”? “Too bad we can’t stay baby”. See, there – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96s1M8IyrUQ. Get .. the fuck .. out of the house! But nooo, you sit your ass there for 3 weeks, waiting to be butchered by demons and shit. And who the fuck goes on and taunts the paranormal motherfuckers, seriously?
So there, after watching the fairly brilliant and fairly full of breasts Bitch Slap, we had to endure this little gem, who knew the night would end up like this? We had to try drinking a few at Cafe Sor, since Adam had missed the Friday beer. It was full of known people, known DJ, girls polished up too much for their own good and some mamasitas with more ass than what should be legal in this country. So instead we had to head out to Mono, hangovers or not, and clear up the haze with a couple of beers. And then a couple more and then some. Apparently some people took more than rational to get home afterwards and who can blame them?
Last Updated on Monday, 25 May 2009 10:18 Written by Jeremy Tuesday, 28 April 2009 02:07
I was a late arrival at this weeks SMEx, up until the last minute i was sure i wasn’t going to join. But something changed my mind and i headed on down anyway. When i arrived i was surprised to see the party in full swing at Foxx Cafe, we generally have quite a problem trying to find space for us to sit there. Personally i was amazed to see such a high turn out, afterall this movie is staring The Cage who is one of the few people in hollywood who keep getting jobs despite not having one good movie under their belt. After watching a guy who smashed his head on a low hanging lightbulb we headed out to the cinema.
The premise of the film is after digging up a time capsule they find inside a list of numbers which correspond to every disaster in the last 50 years, and luckily for them the last three events are still to come. So like any normal person The Cage decides to head towards these disasters to see if he can stop them.
Its hard to say anything nice about this movie, so i’m going to start with what i feel is its biggest insult.. It felt like a M. Night Shyamalan production, it felt very a kin to Signs or The Happening. It seems to be lost between genres, at times being very science fiction and other times with strong spiritual overtones. Then they throw in some horror for good measure. Then if this wasn’t bad enough they seem to just open the horror playbook and use it word for word; you have the spooky house, the single parent, the pale white girl with long dark hair in a white dress, misty forests, people watching the characters who disappear when they look again…and then at one point they actually have a woman screaming “we have to save the children”.
The story was laced with unrelated subplots i couldn’t care less about, So the kids mother had died? So the kid is partially deaf? So The Cage no longer speaks to his parents or believes in heaven? maybe they thought it would help complete the story arch but it was all just too much for me. The plot spirals downhill as the movie progresses getting more and more ridiculous with every second all towards the end, which for me, was the pinnacle of modern cinema cheese. I could have taken it from Shrek or Disney but this film was trying to be serious at some point. The Cage was predictably bad with his own brand of overacting and creepy slime, the child actors were also pretty terrible. That being said it wasn’t all bad, the good point were the great special effects in the disaster scenes, some cool deaths and one of the best city destructions since Independence Day, wasn’t quite enough to save it though.
Overall i wish i had found a list predicting all the bad movies over the last 50 years.. maybe then i could have avoided this one.
Last Updated on Tuesday, 13 January 2009 09:04 Written by Christian Monday, 5 January 2009 09:33
First off, happy new year to all of you. I hope you all had a great time during the holidays and that 2009 comes full of good things and plenty of SMEx events
This is the second time I’m writting this review. The president ask me to the year’s wrap up after the last movie, and I DID, but the bad ogre (in the form of an unwelcomed timeout) came and ate my cookie (in the form of my previous post) and let me tell ya; it was a great post, full of charts, graphics, thrill, drama, artifacts, etc. I wont be able to do that again, the pain is still too deep.
But!, I can quickly go over some of the highlights of the year that went by:
We started the year on a shaky form, with “National Treasure II”, and we ended up in a low key with “The Day the Earth Stood Still” In between there were some really good movies, some not-so-good ones, one that we all would like to forget and some very cool unofficial and catching up events, which continues to prove that SMEx is not only about the movie, but about the time we spend together.
This year we saw our CWE leave Norway to create (unsuscesfully so far) the Swedish branch. We welcomed the new CPO who quickly got in the role.
Around mid summer we moved to our own new domain and later that year we changed the layout, so we could say that we are now in SMEx 2.0. Also now we have a rating system, so you can go and check yourself how we have rated all the movies so far!
On that note, here are some statistics:
Highest body count by one man (not including aliens): Rambo IV
Longest battery time: Webcam work at Cloverfield.
First (and hopefully only) musical: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
Most movies into one: Doomsday
Superheroes movies watched: 3 (IronMan, The Dark Knight and The Incredible Hulk)
Most WTF during a movie: Tied between Sukiyaki Western Django and Ashes of Time Redux.
Most WTF previous to a movie: Ashes of Time Redux
Longest and most comprehensive review: Ashes of Time Redux.
Places where we will probably not come back: Any kind of movie festival.
Worst movie of the year: The X Files, I want to Forget.
Best movie of the year: that will be for you to decide!
Highest attendance: James Bond Quantum of Solace. 20 SMExers!
All in all, there were 36 official movies during 2008, the president continued the tradition and attended all of them.
Thanks for the good memories, looking forward to see you all during SMEx 2009!